Archive for February, 2010

Really just shocked and saddened by the news but more at the negative reactions…

February 27, 2010

Beautiful Concepcion, Chile, Before the Quake

So as many of you know, Chile has been devastated by a massive massive earthquake. Over 200 people have died and counting. It originally had the epicenter in Concepcion, Chile, if my facts are correct but its been felt everywhere in the country including its capital, Santiago. There is mass devastation and I truly truly hope that friends and family find their loved ones. My thoughts and prayers go to them all.

Due to the earthquake most of the Pacific coast has been at risk for tsunamis predominantly Oahu, Hawaii, Guam, Polynesia, etc. As well as Japan who had a massive earthquake hit a few days ago and have been preparing for a tsunami before this all happened.

Oahu, Hawaii

A lot of stuff has happened as of late concerning natural disasters. Haiti is still under duress and struggling. Its been a struggle for a lot of people. However I gotta say what truly upsets me, especially today, is not only the devastation but the reaction Ive either seen online, tv, or heard in my own hallways of my building.

Ive heard a lot of “The end of the world is going on right now! Get ready for it” or “It’s God will hes mad at us” or other shit like that.

Look, I get it. Its really shitty and horrible. There are people out there that are truly suffering through this. You sitting there spitting out your negative bullshit helps NO ONE. I dont get how people can see this and instead of deal with the loss just look for blame.

MSNBC and CNN have been having constant watch on Hawaii for the tsunami, waiting for video footage of the damage. They said it would hit around 4:05. 4:05 passed and THANKFULLY the tsunami that hit was relatively small and barely made any damage if any. No loss of life and they are planning on getting rid of the tsunami warning in a few hours.

I heard someone in my hallway yelling on his cell phone “I just wasted 3 hours of my life waiting for some tsunami to hit and nothing! WTF?”
Not only him but on MSNBC they interviewed a woman on a cliff IN HAWAII asking what she sees and she was just annoyed. “well… ive been standing here for hours and I see nothin’ I just see nothin’ I dont why they even bothered”

Not one person is saying how awesome it is that nothing happened.

Im so tired of it. Im so tired of people looking at things that happened and instead of looking on the brightside finding what sucks about it and bitching about it. I do it myself I dont exclude myself from it. We all do it but in situations like this we need to be thankful. That woman should be on that cliff and thinking about the people in Chile who would give ANYTHING to be in her shoes and shut her fucking mouth!

The end of the world will happen some day. I dont know when. I dont want to know when. I dont care. I admittedly have tons of phobias including death and apocalyptic scenarios but I cant live my life thinking every single thing that happens in this world is a sign of something bad. Life is a roller coaster. Its gonna be bad and its gonna be good. You have to live your life reaching for the good. Youre not always gonna be happy. Youre not always gonna be sad. Youre not always gonna be in your right mind and think logically and youre not always gonna be in a situation where you have no control over your path.

Im so disappointed in how people have reacted today. Today is a really sad day for many people. You need to hope for that day where they can smile once again. I really hope that happens and wish people would try to hope for that more often.

What it is for me to be broke.

February 24, 2010

Now this isnt all bad. I mean yes it sucks but its also a reason to focus on bettering myself. I mean if you have money you spend it sometimes not in the best of ways. When youre broke, you are very aware on what you SHOULD spend it on. I think thats why I know how to decorate my dream home, what I would buy where I would buy a place to live, etc. I know cuz I know what I DONT have and try to figure out how its gonna be when I HAVE money. This all pertains to having A LOT of money btw, meaning a steady job with a decent income. Yeah for me, a decent job is A LOT of money haha.

When I’m broke I am also aware that I become more creative. I am spending more time at home not going out to buy drinks and food. I have to focus on entertaining myself at home. I’ve written some really cool songs. I think my talents in writing songs have improved immensly. Normally I can write lyrics and its somewhat difficult for me to come up with a melody for them. The two songs I wrote within a few days of each other I didnt have that problem at all! Im truly proud of myself with them. I can see me being able to do more.

Now there is one set back that really bugs me. I hope some of my friends read this and understand. Like I mentioned before, I dont go out much when I am low on cash. At the moment mom and I have less than 100 bucks altogether. So I dont go out. Not so much because I CANT but because I dont WANT to. Tons of my friends want to go out meet up for drinks, coffee, dinner, etc. When I tell them I cant because Im broke, Im not telling them cuz I want them to feel sorry for me. Im telling them because I dont want them to think I dont WANT to spend time with them. I end up feeling horrible because its so sweet when I have friends who are like “dont worry about it, I will buy you drinks, I will pay for you, never worry about cash” its so touching and so sweet but I really dont feel comfortable letting people pay for me. Ive done it, Ive thanked them and we’ve moved on never to have issue however just because thats been the case, I always feel this weird thing in the back of my mind that I’ve become a mooch or an expense to people. i think its cuz a few years ago when I was in the same boat I over heard someone say “Oh I wanna invite Natalia but I cant afford her”. I dont think they meant it in the bad way, they just meant that they knew I couldnt afford to go and they themselves couldnt afford to pay for me. Either way, it just makes me feel weird. So as much as I am honored and touched that my friends care enough to pay for me sometimes, I really try to avoid it as much as I can by just sitting it out just until I get money again.

The insane thing is this has actually caused me many a grief. Ive actually lost some close relationships because people didnt understand this way of thinking. I mean I dont think people understand that at the moment for the most part I live off my moms money. How fucked up is it that my mom doesnt go out, penny pinches when she SHOULD be retired by now and Im out going to concerts and dinners with friends? Im not saying shes suffering but I dont feel comfortable partying while shes worried about cash and my future. Ive had moments where friends would actually claim I wasnt being a good friend because I wouldnt hang out with them when they were very well aware I was extremely broke and couldnt afford to go to restaurants that were in my opinion rather expensive.

I mean do you guys know how expensive it is just to go back and forth on the subway in one day? 4.50. Four fucking dollars and fifty freaggin cents! To some of you its not much, to me thats a dozen eggs and a loaf of bread. To have to spend that money on a metrocard is really hard for me.

Plus, prior to me being broke when I used to have a full time job, it was ME who would pay for everything. I loved it! I still wish I could. I was the one that would go into a store and go “OMG this would look so cute on so and so” and then just buy it if I had the cash. If i went to restaurants and we couldnt figure out the tip or who owed what, I would just go “oh fuck it nevermind I got it” just out of laziness and not wanting to do the math lol. Im not saying if i had the cash i would be overly carefree but it feels good to be able to know you can do that every once in a while and knowing that I cant do that, it fucking kills.

It will happen again one day though. I know it. I know I will get a decent income and feel more relaxed to hang out with my friends more often. Keep the faith!

Ive had the news on for a while now..

February 23, 2010

Ive had the news on since 4pm and so many things I saw really got to me. Im not bitter or angry but I feel the need to vent and voice my opinion on some subjects out there. Nitpick in some ways. Yeah yeah, I hear you “Oh Natalia, why do you always need to complain about stuff?”

I complain or vent about stuff that bug me because I want to be a nice and fun person in the real world. Writing about it here gets it out of my head and lets me be more positive when having to deal. Anyways….

Fire in Jersey. Yeah ok I get it. There was ANOTHER fire in New Jersey. I dunno where. I lost track. Why the hell is there ALWAYS a fire in New Jersey? Fort Lee, Passaic, Hoboken, Atlantic City, Newark… seriously DAILY there is a news anchor informing me that another building caught fire in some place in New Jersey. Yes, this is horrible. However 90% of the time there is thankfully no loss of life and HELLOOOO fires happen every day in NYC what makes Jersey so special? And who the hell is putting things on fire?!?!? Stop it! Its not like you are getting paid for it…. or ARE you…. hmmmm *scratcheschin*…..

Ok this happened last week but it was in the news today. Its actually a very nice thing but there was something that I dont understand thats really picking at my brain: Ok…
South Bay Elementary School in West Babylon caught fire over the Winter Break. Thankfully no one was in the building but the schools interior was destroyed. The great news is a local church, Our Lady of Grace had tons of room on the side of the church that used to be a school and had offered up the space to the over 300 students and faculty. Thats really sweet and these kids arent going to miss that much school. Its a great thing that happened. However there was one thing that just bugged me.
A priest at the church has said that they will take down religious artifacts from the rooms out of respect…
… Out of respect for what though? I really dont see WHY. Look I was raised in a Catholic school upbringing. I never went to public school HOWEVER I am one of the first people to say that public schools shouldnt enforce religion on a child. Children come from many different cultural and religious backgrounds so to go to public school and be forced to recite prayer and whatnot I really dont think is appropriate.
HOWEVER, this is a CATHOLIC Church that is giving these people an opportunity to learn. Im not saying they should have prayer, Im just saying they shouldnt have to take any religious artifacts down. Its their building. They have the right to have it up. If anything its a good way of teaching children about accepting different cultures and religion. You have no idea how many HIGH SCHOOL students I tutor in global studies and they have NO IDEA about different religions MUCH LESS their own. I really believe its because people are so afraid of discussing religion that they avoid it. I think religion should be taught in a cultural aspect and not in an aspect of theology. If a child asks a teacher “Who is that man on the cross?” The teacher should explain the building they are in, what is practiced, and who it represents. Thats all. There is no reason to try to convert the child or dwell on it. Just answer the question and I think the parents who have their kids going there should talk to them too. I just think there is so much lack of communication in our society that it causes to much ignorance. Censoring your own culture while helping others really doesnt make any sense. I get the gesture though and think its nice but I dont think its a step thats needed. I dunno just my opinion. If I decide to help someone and let them stay in my house, Im not gonna redecorate because they may not agree with my way of decorating my house… its MY house! LOL.

They interviewed the daughter of the guy who crashed his plane into that IRS building killing himself and one guy. She actually said she considers her dad a hero even though she doesnt condone his actions. She respects and agrees with his angers pertaining to the American government and thinks he did something about it and that makes him a hero. …. Ok look…..
Im really sorry this woman lost her father. I firmly believe that this guy was more than likely a sweet man that got royally screwed over by this government. His daughter even said so. In fact, she even left this country and moved to Norway because while she was pregnant she was dropped from her healthcare provider and she had enough. I will go even further and say that yes, he is right.This government is really screwing over its own people. I read some of the things he said and I nodded in agreement to SOME of it. Yeah, we got some shady business going on in this country.
This isnt news though people. And no, your father is NOT a hero. A hero doesnt kill an innocent person to prove a point. A hero doesnt cause mass panic. A hero figures out a way to deal with their convictions in a productive way for society. Blowing up a building doesnt do that. It makes matters worse. Your dad snapped babe, he snapped and acted irrationally.
To be quite honest I dont even know how real this story is. I got my own opinions which Im not gonna get into here however I know for a fact that this woman lost her father and he was pissed. As to everything else, thats up to speculation at least for me.

That guy who came from Denver pleaded guilty to plotting to put explosives in the NYC subway system. Again, Im not getting into this… but I got a HUUUUUUUUUUGE problem with ALL of this. The news anchor even said he changed his plea to guilty when they threatened to put his mother’s immigration status into jeopardy. Ugh…. I cant. I just cant get into this at all.

I’ve officially stopped watching the news. They just said that they found those cops not guilty of sexually assaulting that guy at the train station.

Notice how I say things like “That guy” and “that place” or whatever? LOL, I just seriously got so overwhelmed with everything the names mean nothing anymore. Totally done. I need to watch comedy to make me happy and silly again.

Beauty Bar – Brooklyn

February 11, 2010

I swear its a bar... no really!

So this is where we got a residency.

Oh wait. Did I tell you guys about this? Ahh ok let me explain:

So a few weeks ago, Jay and I decided we needed to do some research on venues for us to play at. Now, Jay and I are in the band, The JSE and we want to perform but Jay also does solo shows as well. He’s played The Delancey in NYC a couple of times solo but eventually I would go up on stage to accompany him on backing vocals. Well now its Jay and Nat at these type of shows. Its more like rehearsal and experimentation since Jay has sooooo many awesome songs that either don’t fit his other projects or are new enough that they need to be tested or just tried out in front of an audience.

So I was contacting venues in general for both Jay and Nat and The JSE. One venue I contacted was one I didnt know much about: Beauty Bar.

I checked out the website,

I realized they were a chain venue that had bases in NY, Cali, and Texas. Originally salons that were hollowed out and became bars, they usually have djs, cool happy hour deals, and a really cool decor that highlights the allure of salons from the 60’s and 70s.

I also contacted a few other places including Arlene’s Grocery, and other places I cant seem to remember for some reason.

Within AN HOUR of my email to Beauty Bar, I got a response asking what we were looking to do. Eventually one of the owners, Dave, contacted me and asked if I was interested in booking Jay and I for a residency. Every Thursday night for the month of February.

I was so shocked. I mean they never heard of us and they never heard us sing but were willing to give us one day a week for a month.

Now its not just Jay and I performing on Thursday nights. There’s more to it. Beauty Bar in Bushwick, Brooklyn wanted Jay to fill the entire night. So its not just Jay and Nat. Its Jay and Nat and a bunch of our friends. Its actually a really fun plan. I truly feel honored to know so many talented musicians and Jay knows even more so we have tons to get to perform with us on a weekly basis. This passed Thursday night it was Jay and Nat, Aviv and…. uhh I dont know the bass player’s name, Martin and Ben, Phil and Seaflux, Guitar Bomb, and then a few djs.

Now here are some of the setbacks of the place but honestly they arent drastic:
1. The stage is small so a huge a big band can’t play
2. Its a bar so no one under 21, two band mates of The JSE are 18 and 20 respectively so they cant come out
3. The bar is not equipped for such things. No sound guy. They do want to go the route of having more live acts so thats great they just dont know much about it.
4. Because its such a bar and not live band venue, loud acts have to stop by 11pm.
5. The door doesnt close behind you. You have to close it yourself so it tends to be cold in there since most people dont close the door behind them and the stage is right by the door and window.

Those are actually the only things that arent perfect but some work out in a good way. Like the fact that the stage is by the window makes people stop and look at whats going on, which then makes them come in and have a drink and listen to some new music. Even though we have to book until like 345 am, ending the bigger band gigs by 11pm leaves time to recup and enjoy the venue for what it is, a bar.

Sooooo Jay and Nat (thats Jay and Me btw) are performing yet again this week. We are playing with the band Seaflux opening, our friend Ethan Donway from The False Alarms, Aviv from Widest Smile Faces, and Joe Cantor. The night starts at 8pm and continues until 3:45am. Its a free show as well. How kick ass is that???
Get there by 7 ish cuz its happy hour and the drinks are cheeeeeeeeeap! omg the cheapest around, Im not even joking. Jay kept on getting red bull and vodka for 4 bucks. FOUR BUCKS? Where have you heard that for red bull and vodka ever?

So to review:

8pm Seaflux
9pm Ethan Donway
10pm Jay and Nat
11pm Aviv
12am Joe Cantor
1am and on, djs will be playing.

Come on out if you can, its really easy too. Just take the J train to Myrtle Ave/Broadway. Once you get off the train its within a block away. Not even.

Check out the website!


February 9, 2010

I have a lot of things on my list that I need to buy. Yes some needs blend into wants but either way I dont have the cash for it. Im actually writing this for my own benefit. Im also aware I may have already written this list somewhere before. Whatever, I need to write.

1. New computer, mac actually – 1500
2. New desk – 300
3. Real estate license – 400 to 600
4. Money for concert tickets for the spring/summer – 300
5. Money for Puerto Rico – over 1000
6. Money for Houston – about 1000

There are more things I need and want but those are in my head. To be honest the main things I need is the computer and the desk. Of course what I really need is to move out, have a decent apartment in Willyb and the list could go on and on but we could be here forever with that list so I keep it at this current list. My computer is dying and has run out of space for many things. My desk is ready to collapse. It waddles and one day Im afraid its going to fall on top of me. Real estate licenses are really pricey and I know I would be a great realtor. This is my way of making money for myself and being able to get the bigger things I want.

I know concert tickets are ridiculous to NEED but you have to understand, last summer I felt truly left out and really miss going to shows. Plus there are so many I want to go to and one will require going out of state. I want to see Evelyn Evelyn in Boston. It would be so much fun!

I know I have to go to Puerto Rico again this year. I am really pleased with renting an apartment, it was just so much fun. I really enjoyed it.

I want to see my sister too in Houston. Shes even willing to help pay my way there but I want to try traveling by train. It will take longer but train travel has always seemed exciting to me. I want the money for the train and then buying souvenirs and stuff. Plus I wanna give my dad a little something and my sister since I couldnt buy them xmas gifts.

I know there are more things but I am blanking.

I’m no longer apologizing or….

February 7, 2010

….or making excuses for not updating as much as I used to. I want to update every day but because I hadnt in so long, I just never know what to write.

See, I said I wouldnt make excuses and yet I did. Whatever.

Anyways, things have been going alright. I truly cant complain too much. In fact many great things have been happening concerning music. All my songs are on my hard drive. I know it doesnt sound like much but trust me, Ive lost my song book enough to know i need it somewhere it cant really get too lost.

We (Jay and I) got a residency at Beauty Bar in Bushwick. it was a lot of fun performing this past Thursday. I was feeling miserable (physically) but I didnt care I still was so happy I was there. I cant wait to play again. We will be playing Thursday nights for the month of February.

The main reason I havent updated any critiques is plain and simple: I write for SKORCH Magazine now. So I do my reviews on there. However its only one a month so I will get back to posting them here as well. No worries, when Im ready you will see them.

I’ve been really ill the passed week and a half too. Im gonna be ok but I have an abscess on my thigh. It was infected and really painful. It still hurts like a mofo but I will be seeing a surgeon (yeah its that bad) tomorrow and they will tell me if it needs to be surgically removed or not. I am hoping not. Either way its getting better so no worries everything is going to be just fine.

I have mild cabin fever though. I noticed when I went to the show on Thursday I couldnt shut up for the life of me. I need to socialize more, I always say that, but when Im broke which is most of the time, I really dont like going out. Mix in doctors orders of not moving too much and you got me stuck at home wanting company. Thankfully Jay has been here often since he got back from South Hadley but yeah, my other friends who actually live close by? Yeah… lets not get into that. LOL

I have to call the temp agency I rejoined to remind them I am sans a real job every Monday. Let’s hope they get me something.

I actually do have a lot to say on here. Something tells me you will see a spurt of blogs for a while again.

Yay? I mean, do you guys read? If ya do comment in here. Just so I know its being read. I will still write either way but its just nice to know people are listening.