Archive for May, 2010

Dear Lindsay Lohan… again

May 21, 2010

Lindsay Lohan at her best.

Look I swore I wouldnt write about you anymore however your recent activities would make me a fool to ignore. So I go on…

Look I really dont like you as an actress and I hear you are not the nicest person in the world. So I dont ever want to meet you because I dont feel like I would get along with someone with your attitude. I dont blame you TOO much though. I know people who worked retail on the upper east side of NYC and had BOTH experienced YOU coming into their store (WE’RE TALKING BEFORE MEAN GIRLS, HONEY)when there was a line and you and your snot nosed poor excuse of a mother pushed your way to the front asking for help and when you were told to wait you had the pair of tits to actually utter the most used fake hollywood line ever “dont you know who I am”, honey back then you were like 15 so no, no one knew nor cared who the fuck you were hence the reason you were ignored and had no other choice but to leave. I see things havent changed and when you demand entrance into clubs you arent on the list to get into and you want things that arent yours, you throw tantrums and throw glassware apparently like a baby who throws their bottle when they need their diaper changed. Grow the fuck up. This sense of entitlement that you and other celebrities is slowly getting old. Just like your skin. Shit, honey Im 34 and you look older than me now. See this is why you should have been forced to get an education. Dont you know what smoking, drugs, and drinking does to your skin and body? Why do you insist on learning things the hard way?

Look, I dont know you but I certainly dont want to hear about your death and it looks like youre heading that route. Ana Nicole Smith never partied as hard as you do, get the clue LiLo! Slow it down, its clear jail time will do you good.

This whole thing is just ridiculous. I hope they go V for Vendetta on your ass, lock you up, take away your designer clothing, make you wash with that stale bar of ivory soap, and shave your fucking head, then put you in isolation. However I must remind myself you are here in the US where hard time is hbo instead of showtime. Look its not just cuz you need some serious rehab, its not even because you need to learn a lesson. Its mainly cuz you are so fucking stupid you cant even see how lame your excuses are. You claim someone stole your passport over the weekend while you are in France promoting a movie, so you couldnt get a plane ticket to get you back here in time for court, and you couldnt go to the embassy because it was closed. Oh and before that you even accused your dead beat dad, Michael Lohan of stealing your passport even though he is here in the US?

First of all Einstein Lohan, if you were planning to come back to go to court… why didnt you buy your ticket roundtrip? Hmmmm? You KNEW you had to be here. I mean, why didnt you already buy it? It would be believeable to the judge who btw is clearly SOOO tired of your bs. You kept on ditching group and rehab and claimed you had valid reasons which no one thinks by the way, you are delusion as hell. Then you claim your dad stole your passport while you were in Cannes when hes been here the whole time. Look, I blame your dad for a lot but one thing I know I cant accuse him of is superpowers, how the hell did he get your passport from Cannes when hes HERE… HERE BEING THE UNITED STATES. To top it off you beg your friends (btw none of them are your friends Lindsay if they were you wouldnt be where you are now, friends care about you and none of them give a fuck) to pay for a personal charter flight which according to cnn can run over 70 grand for you to get to the states. What the fuck is wrong with you????

Go to jail. You need to grow up. You need to wake up. I want to see you clean. Even though Im not a fan of your acting, I actually wanna see you working again. Right now you are a ridiculous mess. You ruined a lot of potential in yourself with bullshit.

As for your parents. I wish there was a way for them (specifically your mom cuz shes supposed to be the “GOOD” parent)to get punishment too because this could have been prevented… at least SOME of it.