You know what’s awesome?

You know what I find really awesome? Its one of many things but what really makes me happy lately are smiles. I know, it sounds stupid but its true. When you are smiled at, it just makes you feel a little better. Even when you are feeling like crap and everything is going wrong, when someone smiles at you, you truly have no other option but to smile back.

I mean, ok, TECHNICALLY, you dont HAVE to. However if you dont you make the person feel awkward or bad or insult them and they’ve done nothing but be nice enough to smile at you so why on earth wouldn’t you? So you do it and you know what? It makes you feel a lot better.

I have been feeling so BLAH lately. Not truly depressed but just have tons on my mind and I guess just a bit overwhelmed. There isnt much lately that I feel fabulous about.

Don’t misunderstand, I have high hopes and truly have been hopeful, inspired, determined, and damn proud of myself for having that and feeling that. However I dunno, I guess I just dont feel so accomplished lately. Im holding myself back I suppose.

At any rate it leaves this blah feeling inside. I walk down the street by myself, feeling lonely, and I look up and get a random smile. It makes my day.

Well… my few minutes or hour.

It just makes me feel better because one of the things I dont believe people realize about being overweight is what we perceive or feel from other people. I think everyone assumes the dread that we have is to be made fun of. That our daily routine includes chastisement because as children that is in fact what we get from our fellow classmates who see us everyday.

When you are a grown up, yeah it does happen but not as often. What do we really get dealt with? Invisibility. Utter disregard and invisibility.

What was once chastisement has become non existence. When you are big and you are in a bar, you dont get the remarks or the staring. You actually get flat out ignored. When walking down the street people generally just look the other way and say nothing to you. You are not worthy of attention.

I know some people like that but as someone who is an entertainer, yeah it bugs me. So when I am walking down the street or on the train or the bus and someone just smiles at me and goes about their business they are not just passing off a minimal facial expression. They are saying “Hello, I see you, have a nice day” and they go about their business. I am worthy of a smile. I am worthy of acknowledgment. Its a great feeling.

The other thing that happens with a smile is you feel motivated to do it yourself. Once Im smiled at, I can guarantee that Im smiling at other people throughout the day and there are a few others who will smile back thus extending that good feeling.

And that good feeling I get, I spread to others so its like paying it forward. Its pretty awesome.

Its weird too, when I go down to PR and people do it much more frequently than here in the insane city that is NYC at first you question it. “Do I know them?”, “is there something on my face?”, “are they flirting with me?”. No that’s just how they go about their day.

Not to mention the fact that they will also say “Hello”, and “Have a Nice Day”. (In Spanish of course), men give up their seats on buses just out of custom and what not. When that happens, you cant help but be in a good mood.

I know its not just in PR it happens in the South too. Im sure it happens in other places more often as well however here in NYC not often enough.

However, in the meantime, while I inhabit this kick ass city, I will cherish each smile I get since I am fully aware how hard they are to come by.

Smile New York!!!!

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