Posts Tagged ‘list’

Be warned

November 15, 2009

I went to see Amanda Palmer play the Music Hall of Williamsburg. This will require a blog. This is your warning. Carry on.

Proof that Silence is a problem for me……

November 10, 2009

1. I think too much
2. Overthinking never leads to over thinking about good things.
3. You sit there staring out the window.
4. Sitting in my recliner late at night looking out my window leads me to looking down 99th Street to where my Grandma used to live
5. Looking at where my grandma used to live made me think of going there to visit.
6. It made me think about our talks.
7. I miss blabbing to my heart’s content without anyone criticizing me or judging me for my opinions or how I think.
8. I think she was the only one who understood the things that come out of my head is venting and not how I really think on a rational level.
9. I could say everything that made me sad or angry and I wasnt considered negative, I was applauded for getting it out.
10. I was also congratulated with a big hug and a kiss on the forehead.
11. I miss my grandma’s hugs and kisses
12. I wanna be held more often…
13. I just wanna be held period
14. I fucking love the holidays and it saddens me that I cant express it as much as I would love to.
15. I wish I could afford to buy everyone I know gifts.
16. I have a lot of work to do this holiday season
17. As difficult as the holidays can be and sometimes disappointing, I still look forward to them because I feel like I am good at them.
18. I wanted a cat but I think Im gonna wait til after the holidays instead of before.
19. I hate crying from thinking too much. Its humiliating even front of best friends.
20. Crying makes me wired. Exhausted yet not able to sleep.
21. I am an awesome person and if people cant accept that, too fucking bad.

Love you grandma!

So Many Things On My Mind

August 1, 2009

You know how people hoard things in their homes and to us it looks like its in total disarray but to them its in precise order? Sure, there is a lot but they have a reason and method to what they have and how they have it.

Well, my head has been like that lately. I have soo many different things going on up there. Many things need to be done and yet there isn’t enough time to do it all so it is stored in my head until I can get to it. My head is packed to capacity. Haha.

The problem is, when it gets this way its like too many things downloaded to a harddrive with not enough memory or RAM. I freeze and crash. I get stuck and I dont do ANYTHING. Nothing works.

Well, I refuse to allow that to happen. I notice as of late that I just got stuck. I’m gonna remedy that now. The summer session of my job is almost over. Like 2 weeks are left. So, to ease my mind, let me list some things I need to do so I can well…. DO THEM! lol

1. Get progress reports/student reports done
2. Before that make copies of my lesson plan
3. Give them to my boss
4. Make a list of what I need for Puerto Rico
5. Buy a gift for a new baby!!
6. Go to the DMV and get my driver’s license renewed.
7. Get a passport for future trips ( I know this has always been a plan but dammit! I need it nooooww!!)

For now, that’s enough to get done within the next 2 weeks. Yeah?… Yeah.

What I Need to Tell Myself On a Daily Basis

July 15, 2009

I figured if I blog it, I will have it for reference.

1. You will be fine. No matter the obstacle
2. Stop saying you are stupid. You are smarter than you give yourself credit
3. Who cares about what others think about you?
4. Yes your friends love you.
5. Look at all this as a blessing in disguise
6. Stop procrastinating, you have so much to work on.
7. You will be successful
8. You are not alone.
9. Stand up for yourself
10. Stop feeling guilty about how some of your friendships panned or are panning out, things just happen.
11. You are beautiful, start acting like you know this as fact.
12. You will be healthier.
13. You will find love.
14. Your dreams will happen.

Honorable Mention…. Pablo Nieves

June 14, 2009

As some of you may know my grandpa passed away a few days ago. I miss him already however shockingly enough Im not really upset or distraught or anything. I mean I was a wreck the first day because I was stuck at home. Alone. Manning the phones. I really needed a hug or something and there was no one there. I felt really lonely.

HOWEVER!!!! LOL once my mom came home, my uncle came here. It felt A LOT better. We stopped feeling bad and started thinking about what a kick ass guy my grandpa was… IS. He will always be an awesome guy. All we did was laugh at all the craziness that my grandpa created.

Right now Im truly just overwhelmed by the drama of the arrangements of the funeral services. All the little family drama going on that logically ALWAYS happens during these things. Its actually quite normal, Im just soo exhausted. I truly just dont want to do ANYTHING.

But back to my grandpa. I wanted to let people know how funny, crazy, inappropriate, rude, gross, hysterical, loving, caring, sentimental my grandpa was. He fucked up his life at the beginning. The cool thing about him though is he made up for it. He knew he did and really always felt he should be held responsible. He was responsible and made up for it. I loved that. Most men have problems owning up to when they fuck up and he knows he did, was truly sorry, and expected nothing all the while making up for it however he could.

I posted this on my facebook notes section so I thought I would paste it here. Its the most outlandish things my grandpa ever said and did that made us all crack up:

1.) This was to a woman walking past the nursing home as we were dropping him off. Oh, and in spanish of course. (yeah all of this is in spanish btw) “Hey! You shouldnt dress like that in this cold and when its dark! People will think youre a prostitute and wheel their wheelchairs over to you and have their way with you, trust me I know how!!!”

2.)This evening when we picked him up, to one of the nurses who was making his bed “Yeah she says she comes here to fix my bed but she really wants to be in it with me, isnt that right mami?” (Did I mention he’s 90?)

3.)A few months ago talking about one of my cousins daughters “Yeah that one isnt that bright, I see a pole in her future!” (I cant make this shit up)

4.) During the summer to me after I ask him if he wanted me to get the chicken wing out of his mouth (theirs a pic of him with it just sticking out). He really didnt say anything he just spit out his dentures with the chicken in it into my hand… yeahhh ewww.

5.) After this old lady in a vegetative state was wheeled away from nurses. “she wants me” (woman had been in a coma since before my grandpa got there)

6.)About 5 months ago, this guy who shared the room with him had been fighting with him for a while. He was asleep when we went and since my grandpa cant move his arms too much he flung a plate at his head with his mouth.

7.) My favorite. About a year or so ago. He had just gotten his colon removed since he has colon cancer. We were driving him back to the nursing home in total dead silence cuz we are all generally sad and what not. We stop at a light. Again total silence: “Well, thank God Im not a homosexual what man would fuck me up the ass now?????”

8.)In the hospital under a lot of morphine “I am LAURA LEON! I am ALL woman! Except for my penis!…ugh my butt hurts” (he said ‘pinga’ but its the same thing)

9.) (this is a new one that last thing he said to me that was hysterical.) Natalia, I used to be worried that you were not married by now. Then I see all the problems that the women in this family have with men and think you are the smartest one. Just dont be a lesbian. Not because I dont want you to be gay but women are just as much a pain in the ass as men. I would be gay but I like boobies (tetas) and I dont like things up my butt. (keep in mind he has a colonostophy bag so yeah, I can see the no things up the butt thing being annoying for him.

My grandpa is insane. Yet he rocks so hard cuz no matter how shitty things are he still figures out a way to be funny and gross.

Will always think of you in the funniest and greatest moments Grandpa! I love you!

What I love about performing

May 13, 2009

1. I love being a superstar for about an hour.
2. Something that my friends and myself created is there for others to see and enjoy.
3. I may be nervous days before the show but once Im up there its the best feeling in the world.
4. Its like an adventure. I get to see if I can sing my heart out.
5. Even if you suck, you still get to feel like a rock star.
6. When you are in a band there is a camaraderie up there that makes you feel like you have such a strong bond. Thankfully I get to perform with my best friend.
7. I love playing dress up. I get to dress however I want.
8. I think I can give Beth Ditto a run for her money.
9. As the job search is at an all time low, I feel like a million bucks.
10. I have friends that love music and are genuinely happy to listen to some coming from myself and my friends.
11. I love working hard at making my friends happy.
12. I love making new friends at shows.